"Iris"

Do you have that one song that brings back a memory so strong it’s like you’re still there? I have a bunch. There are moments in my life that I will never forget, and most of them have their own soundtracks.

So I went to an old friend of mine’s acoustic set at a local coffee shop in Sea Isle. A little back-story for you - this guy and I had some history and it didn’t end well – and by “didn’t end well,” I mean he broke my heart. After a while, I got over him, but he never seemed to do the same. I know this because the same wistful look and shy smile comes across his face every time we bump into each other. So, I’ll be honest – I went to this show because I was bored, yes, but also to see him get that look, because I find a ton of humor in this irony.

So, again, I arrive at the coffee shop before he does, and sit in the far corner, read my book (One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest if you really want to know) and enjoy some iced coffee. He arrives not long after I do, and once he finishes setting up, he sees me and – boom! – there it is, that nostalgic look comes over he face as he smiles and gives a little wave.

His set goes fine – he’s actually pretty talented in both singing and guitar playing and every once in a while I get a glance in my direction. Also, half of his family is there as well, and his aunt is completely trashed (I saw her kill an entire bottle of white wine by herself!) which is really just fucking hilarious.

I’m about ready to leave and just as I’m thinking this he starts to play Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. There is no significance with this song for me. I liked it a lot when I was in grade school, but that was pretty much it. He never played it for me before, and we never even discussed the musical stylings of the band ever. But, with this song, memories come flooding back, and I, well, sort of miss him.

I leave shortly thereafter, and the feeling fades.

It was just odd. One song, and every single thing I’ve ever felt concerning him came rushing back. It wasn’t as if I’m still pining for him – whatever we had was over and done with almost two years ago. He has a girlfriend now, and I’m crushing on some dude at school (who thinks I’m a great friend – awesome! But that’s another story..). We’re over, done. But still, for an amount of about three minutes, it was like it was my senior year again, and he was sending me texts telling me how beautiful I was, only to say he doesn’t want to be with me three short days later. It was like I was still at my work telling my coworkers that No, I couldn’t hang out with them this weekend, because I had a date, only to go home that very night to find a message saying that it wouldn’t work out. Then I start thinking about what could have been, and where we would be now.. and I felt a little sad, and a little reminiscent.

It’s almost funny how this popular tune from the 90s could induce so much feeling, but as some dude named E. Y. Harburg** said, “Words make you think a though. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.”

** He’s actually a lyricist, and is most famous for writing “Over the Rainbow” along with the rest of the music for The Wizard of Oz.